


Intertwined

by Crazzyqueerkid



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Angst, Based on a dodie Song, Boys In Love, Burning, Burns, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff, Gay, Harry Potter Next Generation, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Kissing, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mild Smut, So much kissing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:01:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21821842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazzyqueerkid/pseuds/Crazzyqueerkid
Summary: James and Teddy have been going out for six months and want nothing more then to be with each other. But worried about the worlds reaction to their relationship and the pain they cause each other the new relationship is hard to keep afloat.
Relationships: Teddy Lupin/James Sirius Potter
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	1. Skin, Heat

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, I had posted some of this work about six months ago but recently took it down to completely re-edit it and I am much happier with how it is going.

Teddy knows me well, better than well, can practically read my mind. He knows all of my hiding spots. So I ran.  
“Jamie, we can do this.”  
A sob ripping through my body as the words echoed in my head, reverberating off of my skull, making me dizzy, tilting the world on it axis. Making me fall to the ground.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

It had began this morning, I woke up to a room soft with sunlight. Rolling over to find navy sheets and the scent of warm earth and wood. My mind began filling in the blanks then something shifted into place.

“Teddy?” I called into the early morning, my voice still gruff with sleep.  
“JUST A SEC!”  
Relief washed through me, even though I had been with Teddy for a number of months at this point I still had a voice in my head telling me Teddy would grow tired with having me. With the precautions, the constant clothing, the numbing, all of it. He would sooner or later see what I did, a man set out to destroy him.  
“Mmmhh, good morning,” a voice spoke above me.  
A warm body pressed against my back, the steady heart beat and deep breaths I had grown addicted to warming me. I allowed a few moments to pass until,  
“shirt, Teddy”  
“Just a sec” he whispered, nuzzling into my hair.  
“Teddy”  
I could already feel the heat begin to creep up my spine, no longer just the scent or sunlight warming me. Just as I was about to protest for the third time Teddy slid away.  
“Okay?” I asked concerned.  
“Oh, it takes a hell of a lot more to kill me, Jamie.” A smirk creeping up his face.  
“I know, just…”  
“I know”  
We lay there in comfortable silence, the possibilities of the day stretching ahead of us. Teddy began to nuzzle into my neck, lacing soft, lingering kisses from my jaw to my collarbone. Just as the heat began to set in Teddy murmures,  
“breakfast?”  
“Mmmm” I hum in happy content.  
Gran was the one who always made breakfast, it was her thing. Sitting at the kitchen table with eggs and sausages talking about nothing, the thought still makes my eyes glassy. When she died I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t even get out of bed. But as time went on I got better, but still never eating breakfast. Never, until Teddy. He is the only one who can make just about anything in the morning and not have the smell nauseate me.  
Teddy sits up legs dangling over his side of the bed, back to me. His muscles ripple under his skin. As I lay there, taking in my boyfriend I see, something.  
“Ted,”  
“Hmm?”  
“What’s, what’s that” I have an idea but my heart twists even considering it.  
“What’s what?” He asks, eyes closed, stretching in the sunlight.  
“Your back.”  
I watch him stiffen, his breath stills. Confirming my suspicions. He turns to look at me.  
“Jamie, really it’s nothing.”  
“Show me.” It’s not a plea or a question, its a command.  
“Jamie it’s already healed and numbed”  
“Show. Me.”  
Teddy, though nearly a decade older than me, crumpled like a child caught stealing a cookie. He allows his skin to change back to its normal state. I retch at what is revealed.  
“T-Teddy” I croce barely audible.  
“Jamie,” he whips around, “No, it’s nothing it’s”  
“NOTHING? TEDDY THAT'S NOT…” I cut him off, finding my voice.  
“It’s numbed Jamie, I’m okay, it-it doesn’t ever hurt, see” he reaches around and touches the now covered wound on his left shoulder blade.  
“I did that.” I say closing my eyes and shaking my head, trying to get the image of inflamed, blistered skin out of my mind.  
“No” he speaks quickly and with authority, “I went to bed without a shirt, this is on me”  
I stay quiet, tears rolling down my face as he tilts my chin up. He stares at me long and hard, eyes still soft.  
“Jamie, this isn’t your fault.” He leans in, attempting to kiss me, I coil back.  
“I-I can’t Ted, I should have, should’ve worn the-the gloves.” I hiccup out in a whisper. “Or-or slept on in the guest, b-bed.”  
“No, I wanted to sleep in the same damn bed as my boyfriend, so I did. I wanted to sleep without a shirt, so I did! You should not feel guilty about us doing normal things!” He shakes his head, squeezing his eyes shut as his hair turns from sandy to teal.  
“But I’m not normal.” I say quietly after a few moments.  
“No, one is. So it doesn’t make us any different.” He smiles at me, trying to take my hand. I reach for my wand instead so he can’t grab it.  
“At least let me heal it properly, then.” He turns, removing his magic once more. I murmur his preferred incarnation four times until all that’s left is slightly pink skin.  
“Right then, c’mon, I’m thinking pancakes” He speaks while sliding off the bed. I sit there unmoving.  
“Hey, we're gunna figure this out, everything’s gunna work out, be just like it was. We’ll get through this. '' He bends down to kiss me.  
“Jamie, we can do this.”

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

I left, as Teddy stepped out to put on a recorded and start the pancakes, I slipped on a shirt and trousers and left. The moment the door latch quietly clicked shut, I ran. My mind reeling all the while, the burn on Teddy’s back, put there by me, what I was leaving behind, how it hurts now but over time would heal. The burn and our hearts, both.

Taking the stairwell of Teddy’s apartment block two at a time I barreled out the door, trying to think of where to go. No one in the family, he would check their first. Not tothe family house, about half of my friends were on vacation for the summer and the other half lived no were near us. Me. Shit. So I just kept going, slowing to a brisk walk for all of the happy groups of friends and families were milling on the pavement.

That’s how I ended up here, sitting under a tree in Que gardens at two in the afternoon, crying. As a kid I was always full of energy, never able to sit still, and even when I was moving in one way or another. When you little this is called “boundless energy” but as you grow it’s called ADHD. Then generalized anxiety disorder. They seem to work together, when one is worse than the other one gets worse, pulling a cord tight, harder and harder from each end but never snapping. And god do I wish sometimes I would just fucking break. The only one able to not break my cord or even stop the tension but allow me to release it all together was Teddy. Even when I was a baby he was the one who could always calm me, or stop a tantrum.

And now I’ve gone hurt him, burned him because of some stupid fucking moron in year 7 potions, who, not only managed to brew the potion backwards but then threw the contents of his cauldron over me. Sending waves of burning heat through my skin. Next thing I knew I woke up in the hospital wing, again. I was no stranger. Madam Pomfrey later informed me the the potion seemed to have no effect on me. I told her about the heat just before I blacked out but we accounted it to boiling liquid being thrown over my skin. We later found the boy who had done it was, at the very least, not a fan of my father.

I went home for Christmas that year, coming off the train to find Teddy waiting there for me. I confessed my feelings for him at the end of that summer. He had not said no, he simply said after I had finished school we would talk. But with the promise to be more of a staple in my life. Visiting during weekends in the village, writing more frequently and I guess, picking me up from the train. I leaned in to hug him, talking about his job understudying a famous Herbologist and my year so far. I’ve always been very touchy, hugging instead of handshakes, always with my arm around someone’s hips or shoulders. So when I placed my hand around Teddy’s neck we thought nothing of it, until I felt heat. Thinking it was just the combination of Teddy and I bundled up on an overcrowded train platform I thought nothing of it. But the heat got stronger, hotter. Teddy suddenly jumped back.

“Shit, what the hell Jamie?”  
“What?” I asked in utter confusion.  
“You practically seared my skin!” A hand jumping up to feel his own now reddening neck.  
“How?” I asked in mild panic,  
“I thought you were warm but I didn’t feel anything more than over warm body heat.” As I said this a memory came back to me, the feeling of the potion, not a month ago, being tipped over my skin. Even though it was wet, a dry heat settling into my bones. Shit.

Eventually we worked it out. There were no side effects of the potion evident when Madam Pomfrey tested but this is because she did not look for the reaction it would have on a medimorfmagi. Someone who can change any aspect of themselves at will. Teddy’s mum was one and so is he. Anytime I come into skin-to-skin contact with Teddy our skin begins to burn, mine warming from the marrow of my bones and reacting with my magic just below my skin, increasing the effects. Then transferring to Teddy who’s magic is stronger and rarer than any average witch or wizard magic, heating his flesh to boiling. Apparently it has the same effect on everyone but it goes unnoticed because very few people have as strong magic as Teddy. Dad says he feels it slightly but in no way could it burn him.

This meant conducting experiments all Christmas break, spending hours in my parents sitting room or Teddy’s apartment trying different things. Seeing what triggered it, how long it would last, if it could burn and if emotions came into play. After the third day of carefully dodging what was on both our minds, Teddy kissed me. Soft and lingering turned passionate and hot. Too hot. I burnt his lips and tongue to the point that he couldn’t eat without healing salve. That was the longest we ever kissed. From the experimenting we found if there was any barrier, even partially, the skin would not heat in those places. I could burn him, and yes emotions did have a role in how fast the heat spread. If we were calm and relaxed we could touch for almost an hour until it began to hurt but if our emotions were running high I could sear him in seconds.

We went to St.Mungos together looking for anything to lessen the effects. Madam Pomfrey was brought in and a team of healers, potion master's and unspeakables began attempts to reverse the potion. Three have been made so far, all of them failing. Teddy stood strong, forever with hope in that Hufflepuff mind of his, but I started losing steam in May. NEWTs weighing on my shoulders, job applications, Teddy and what this meant for our furniture and our family. Though everyone considers Teddy as part of the family, I never saw him as a brother to me, more of a best friend. There’s seven years between us, he was more of a fun babysitter who let me stay up late and eat cake before supper rather than a brother who fights with me and steals my things. He gave me my first broom and taught me to fly, saw me to Hogwarts, helped me when I came out, he was always there.

And I left.

I close my eyes, casting a silent privacy charm before I scream, shaking with anger and love and frustration. Wishing it all away. I could be James Potter, first born of Harry Potter, fittest and gayest chaser Hogwarts quidditch has seen since Sirius Black. I could deal with the disappointment of not being a seeker or passing all of my OWLs. But this, this I can’t do. I still don’t have any clue what this is, the pain I inflict on Teddy and Teddy alone, or the relationship with Teddy and how our family will take us or being away from Teddy knowing his heart is shattering as I sit here under a fucking tree crying.

Teddy, for all I say about myself Teddy sees the good, always has. Now that I’ve left him I’ve just let him see what I truly am. An immature boy who runs away from his problems. Even if I were to go back he wouldn’t take me. Okay, deep breath, we don’t know that. Relationships aren't all rainbows and pixies, they take work, I know this. But why put up with all of this, put up with everything that I bring. For the same reason I do. I know I’m fucked.

I love Teddy. And he loves loved me.

I get up, drawing every drop of Gryffindor courage in me and start sprinting. I find an empty alley and disaperate to the front of Teddy’s apartment, I check my watch, 3:12.

I knock.


	2. Hair in your Mouth, Feet Touching Feet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a bit of a shorted chapter, but do not worry, longer are coming. I don't have much to say about this one so enjoy!

I hear the lock click and the door swings open, revealing a Teddy I’ve only caught   
glimpses of, his hair red enough to rival a Weasley, mussed as if he’s been running his hands through it. His t-shirt wrinkled and large, even still he fills it out beautifully. 

I don’t know where to start. “I…”  
He grabs me, shoving me up against the wall and kissing my fiercely.

“I. Fucking. Hate. You.” Breaking every word with a kiss. His hands cupping my face and hips pinning me to the wall. I can feel the heat pressing into him, I know I'm burning his hands and lips yet he doesn’t pull away. “Inside” he commands in a voice that send a shiver down my spine. His hands move to my hips and he shoves me through the door, never breaking the kiss for a moment.   
“T-T, Teddy, Teddy” I whimper into his mouth. “I’m burning y-you.”  
“Don’t care.” He’s pinned me against the wall again, holding my wrists over my head.   
“If you ever, fucking, do that again,” he whispers, breathless into my mouth.   
“Ted I’m, fuck, I’m burning y-nnngggg” I moan, trying to pull away.  
“No.” He growls into me. “Don’t.”  
The heat is getting worse then I’ve ever felt, I know I’m burning him. I attempt to shove him away again.   
“Teddy!” I can feel his lips becoming rough under my own. He finally pulls away, his pupils blow so large I can’t see his irises, his breath raged. Merlin I want to kiss him again, I want to do a whole lot more but,  
“shit, Teddy.”   
“I know,” his voice thick with lust.  
“No Ted your, your hands and-and lips.” His face has gone red, his lips and nose blistering, I grab his hands and flip them palms up. I glance up to his eyes and see the tears running down his cheeks.  
“Teddy, no. No, no. Baby” I wipe his tears away with my thumb. We stay there looking at each other.  
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have,” the lump in my throat making my voice thick, barely audible.  
“I shouldn’t, have run” I try again, a sob breaking the sentence, my breath coming in ragging breaths. I feel like the world is closing in, the cord strangling me.  
“Shhh it’s alright, we’ll talk later” he pulls me to his chest, his arms raping around, his chin coming to rest atop my head as I sob into his shirt. I stay there fist gripping his shirt as I breath in Teddy’s addictive sent, the only thing anchoring me. He holds me, laying soft kisses into my hair, mumbling nothing to me until my shaking sobs turn to sniffles.“Fuck I’m so sorry”  
“Shhh stop saying that” He whispers into me as he holds me.  
“I, let me…” I lead him to the couch and lay him down, straddling his hips. I pull out my wand and heal his nose, then kissing it feather light. I follow the pattern down him, his lips, chin, hands, kissing each palm. “Hmmm” Teddy humming above me as I do.  
“Mmmmmmhhh. We-we should talk.”  
“Yea” Teddy breaths out. He slides out from under me and sits crossed legged on the couch facing me. His hair has turned back to its normal day-time teal, the sun streaming in from the window behind him framing him in a way that makes me want to push him back down.

“Jamie,” I snap back to reality at the sound of my name.   
“You can’t run like that, we are in this together, and I get that your scared but…” He leans in and kisses me. “I am too, and when you take off like that,” he kisses me again, “It, it freaks me out.”  
“I know, I know” I say, bending over, clutching my head in my hands. I squeeze my eyes shut, the image of blistered skin at the forefront of my mind once more. “How are we gunna do this, what if the healers can’t fix me and I stay like this forever, burning you every time you hug me or kiss me, I can’t even hold your hand for Merlin’s sake!” My voice rising as I ramble on. Teddy knows that I need to do this, get all of my worries out of my head, it’s better than keeping them in there and suppressing them.

This has always happened even as a little kid, never wanting to be alone with myself because I knew this would be were I wound up. I learnt how to deal with it as time went on but the endless nights and panic attacks becoming less frequent. But then when we first got together they came back, the nights were I just couldn't shut my brain off, watching my thoughts swim around me, taunting me endlessly. It was harder then, without him next to me. Now we spend most of our nights and evenings together, he can always tell when I’m trapped in my head, unable to sleep and he’ll hold me, mumbling sleepily until I calm down. Reassuring me, letting me get all of my thoughts out and he contradicting all them. Holding me until I fall asleep. 

“Jamie, look at me” I look up,  
“they are going to find a way to stop this, okay. The healers and the potion masters owled last week, they think there close, remember?” I nod.  
“But what if they don’t? What happens then?”   
“Jamie,” he grabs my hands,   
”I promise you I will never let you go because of this, you need to know that. It will never change. You are not too much work, you are worth every single sweaty quidditch jersey left on the floor” I chuckle wettly,  
“every stupid Profit party you drag me to, the sleepless nights and the delayed kisses, alright? Nothing will ever change that. But I can’t do this by myself, I need you to promise me you’re gonna stop running away and doubting yourself. If you have the thoughts that your not good enough for me or that you don’t deserve me,” he leans in close.   
“You tell me, I don’t care what time it is or where you are, you fucking tell me okay?”

I’m crying again. I didn’t think it was possible after how much it cried today but tears are cascading down my face. It’s then I want to tell him, say it so he knows.

I can’t. But I think he knows. 

“I will. I promise”   
“Good, now I have a stack of pancakes under a stasiouse charm and Elvis on the record player…”

I love him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so that was ridiculously fluffy, but do not fret the angst is on its way ;)


	3. You and I, Safe from the World

“Mmmm, do you have to go back tonight, can’t you just stay?”

It’s now nine o’clock, Teddy and I’ve eaten pancakes and Indian take out, kissed, talked, read and kissed some more. It’s days like this that keep me going, days inside Teddy’s cozy pale yellow apartment full of plants, rustic wooden shelves, mitch-matched furniture, overflowing bookshelves and sunlight streaming in through the windows. I honestly love Teddy’s apartment. The ever present music either coming from the record player or Teddy’s guitar surrounding you, the muggle Polaroids clipped on string lining the walls depicting smiling faces or beautiful sunrises. There is no overhead lights, only sunlight, the twinkling string lights lining the ceiling of every room or enchanted firefly jars placed throughout the apartment to light the place. It’s not like Teddy couldn't buy a larger apartment, all of his parents' assets went to him, but he didn’t want to. Quite happy with his cozy home in central London with his twin bed and small kitchen. It’s one of the endless reasons I love him, not the apartment itself but how Teddy made it his own.

“Teddy come on, you’re the one who wants to keep us quiet. I've already been here an extra night.” We’re laid tangled on the couch, me leaning into his side, our legs and socked feet interwoven. I bring my head up so my chin is resting on his chest as I say this.

It’s true. When we first started going out during Christmas of my seventh year we laid ground rules; taking it slow, not at the family home, if the heat became too much he had to speak up and no hiding it. In return, I couldn’t freak out if I did burned him (we broke both of these rules today.) And to keep our relationship under wraps for now. It wasn’t like we weren’t both out to the family. Teddy came out as bi when he was sixteen during Christmas lunch and I came out as gay at fifteen when mum jokingly pointed out a “cute blond girl” in Uncle Ron’s shop. When I said I wasn’t really into “blonde girls” she asked what was wrong with being blonde, I said it was less of the blonde part and more of the girl part. They took it well, Dad was slightly shocked both times, mum was overly supportive, Rose said “well yea, duh” and Albus just shrugged and kept going with life. And that was it.

But finding out we’re going out, it would be a whole different story. Teddy is Dad’s godson, and when his parents died in the Second War he was left to Dad. He was only nineteen at the time, had just killed the dark lord, died, watched his friends die for him and was on the run for nearly a year. He was in no fit state to care for Teddy, so Ted’s Nan on his mum’s side took him in and cared for him. Dad was still a large part of his life, visiting and writing when he could but he had gone, after being checked into the Janis Thickering Ward for a month he left. No one is too sure were he went, only ever telling Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione were he went off too. Even still whenever it comes up they all go quiet. We all learnt quickly not to bring it up. 

He came back for Christmas with the Weasley’s, Teddy and his Nan but didn’t stay long or say much. When he came back mid July of that year something had changed. He was happier, brighter mum says, and that’s when they got back together, the rest working itself out, gradually taking Teddy for longer and longer periods until he moved in at the age of six. They married, had me and the other two, mum was a Chaser for the HolyHead Harpies bringing home two podiums and a World Cup win. She retired awhile back and now refs games, Dad started Auror training in August of the summer he came back but dropped out not two weeks in and is now the DADA teacher at Hogwarts. 

“I know, your right. Just, the end of this song and the next?”  
“Okay, but you have to dance with me.”

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

We grew up close, after the war, no one took family for granted. Teddy was always there, almost every good memory I have from my childhood has him in it somewhere. Forever looking out for me, helping with school work, playing Keeper during the summer so I could keep up with my playing, everything. I soon realized my feelings were never brotherly for him and my thoughts about him were becoming something more than just friendly when I was fourteen, waking up hard with thoughts of pink lips and teal hair more than just once. I was terrified to tell him, I didn’t want this to put a strain on what we had so I labeled it a crush and got on with life. I started noticing little things though, Teddy making a point of sitting near me during game night or looking at me across the table during the summer or holidays. The summer between my sixth and seventh year I told him, we had been skirting around each other for weeks, until one day we were outside in the background, the rain coming in a light yet constant mist. We both sat outside under the lip of the shed roof on the slightly raised platform it sat on, barefoot, loving the smell of rain and the feeling of grass underfoot. We got onto the topic of his most recent partner who had been less of a partner and more of a fling. Nether one heart broken about the end of the relationship. He asked me if I was seeing anyone and I said I had fallen for a boy, older, who was an old friend that I didn’t want to lose. I told him it would be complicated but that I didn’t care, having him would be worth it. Teddy looked me in the eyes and kissed me then. The sound of rain and wet earth surrounding us as our lips met. 

We stayed there along while, gently kissing. My hands found there way to soft forest green hair, his to my neck. The kiss transforming from gently to heated, pulling me closer until I was kneeling in his lap, his legs straddling me. Teddy turned away from my lips, dragging his lightly along my cheek to the shell of my ear.

“I’ve been wanting to do this for so long Jamie.” His now husky voice sending shivers down me. Teeth coming down onto the shell of my ear. 

I can’t remember if I spoke, all I could concentrate on were Teddy’s teeth on my ear, or his warm breath blowing into my hair. His arms now resting on my shoulders, his hands lacing there way through the hair at the nape of my neck. Pushing me into him. 

He tugged off of my ear, pulling it just slightly. The moment I was free of his jaw I rose up on my knees, claiming his lips. No longer gentle, attacking him. Nosing my way from his mouth to his jaw and neck, sucking a trail down to his shoulder. My hands moving to his hips. Teddy moaned above me   
“Fuck.”  
After what felt like an eon we broke apart, foreheads resting on each other, eyes still shut. I started laughing. So did he after a few moments, breaking the infectious sound with kisses until we stopped. We stayed there looking at each other, taking in what had just happened and if it was real, staying there until I spoke.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

The song ended and the opening for “New Slang” by The Shins began to tumble out of the record player. I stood and pulled him up from the couch.

We began to dance, allowing the music to swirl around us as we swayed, him spinning me and me stepping on his toes. Hands drifting to hips and shoulders, Our bodies working in what only we would call perfect time, but that’s all that matters.

As the song came to its concluding chorus we slowed and stopped, I stood on my toes and kissed him long and deep, allowing myself self to gently bite his bottom lip as I pulled away, earning a soft muel from my boyfriend. 

I began to walk the few steps towards the fireplace, the song ending leaving the apartment quiet, his arm rising up to stay in the grasp of mine. The heat only as warm as a stone in the sun between our fingers. 

He kissed me again as he reached for the floo powder, allowing me to take a pinch. I called “Potter family home” the green flames licking the brick of the fireplace as I stepped into them backwards.

“Night love, see you tomorrow.”  
“Night Teddy bear,” there it is again, an opening to say it, so simple and easy.

The flames envelope me and just like that, the night is gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another sickly sweet chapter, but I love them, I love my stupid gay boys who are madly in love with each other. The next chapter is setting the foundation for some serious angst so do not worry, all will be well. To keep you guys in the loop, I'm writing chapters as I release this and am trying to keep the pattern of; for every chapter I write I post the next part. I do have a plan for this story but I don't know were it will go. If you guys want to make suggestions or comments they can be worked into the story. I m also be planning to stray away from the lyrics when I finish the song but who knows. Again thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy :)


	4. Though the World Will Try: Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay WOW I have put such a stall on my writing! Guys im so sorry this took so long to get up, with the holidays and a dash of writers block, it just made the perfect storm and for that im so sorry. I promise chapters will be coming out far more frequently now that I have some more time. The chapters will be getting longer soon I promise. Anyways I hope you guys enjoy thins Part one of the Chapter ;) comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated. I love to hear from y'all.

I tumble out of the fire place in my Dad's office. A grin painted on my face.  
“Evening” I look around to find dad hunched over his desk, filling in papers.   
“So…” he speaks to the desk, his quill has stopped moving.   
“So?” A grin still tugging at the corners of my lips.  
“I assume there’s a reason you’ve been home a total of two nights this week and when you have you’re out before breakfast the next morning?” He now turns in his chair, leaning back in it. He gives me his “teacher look”.  
“Yes, there is.” I say simply, my stomach beginning to twist into a knot.  
“You going to tell me who it is?” I stand there, stunned. My father, the most oblivious person in the country, has somehow put two and two together, and is asking me to tell him who I’m going out with.   
“Eventually. How did you know?”  
“I just told you, staying away leaving early coming home late…”  
“Yes, but you don’t normally see these things, Dad. You normally, ya know, don’t notice when things like this are going on. You didn’t think to question Teddy when for the month of June his hair was rainbow. Or when mum wasn’t drinking when she first thought she was pregnant with Lilly. You just don’t really notice these things.” I finish with a shrug.  
“Oh, I guess not, just let me know if you wanna talk, alright?” I nod.  
“Right get some sleepy James, I love you.” He turns back to his desk as I begin to make my way towards the door, the knot falling away.   
“Oh and James,”  
“Hmmm” I turn to face him again.   
“Your mum told me. She figured something was going on and made me ask you.” He speaks over his shoulder. 

I grin and walk out the door.

I begin to ascend the stairs to my childhood bedroom. I’ve noticed I stopped calling things like ‘my room’ my room and now they’re ‘my old room’ or ‘The Family House’. I don't consider these places my home anymore, I realize slowing my climb. So, where is my home then? I immediately jump to Teddy and his flat. Like dad said, I spend so many nights there, and If I‘m not there one night, I’m back before breakfast the next morning. But it’s not just that, it’s Teddy, when I’m with him I feel safe, at peace, at… home. This is not just Teddy’s cozy flat with plants growing up the yellow walls, it IS Teddy, he is my home. We just never truly spend time outside of the flat as a couple, so Teddy and Teddy’s flat just morphed into the same thing in my mind. 

I realize I’m standing motionless on the stairs and have been for the past few minutes. Deciding this is not an epiphany I should be having outside of my younger sisters door, I make my way to my old room and close the door, sitting on my bed that groans in protest to the sudden weight. 

I go back to my thoughts, Teddy. 

A stupid grin slides onto my face, fuck I really am a sap for the boy.

More specifically my thoughts for what Teddy is for me, he has always been there for me, talking me through anxiety attacks, kissing me better my entire life. I want to be with him all the time, he is becoming my addiction. The scent I get high off of, the body that warms me in ways that the cures has nothing to do with, even though we can’t touch I still feel him, I ache to be closer to him. I imagine what it would be like to touch him constantly, run my hands through his soft, ever changing hair without singeing it. Holding his hand or kiss him fiercely, being able to cuddle close or dance for more than a song. Being able to fuck him.

It isn’t like we haven’t had sex, I’ve given him blowjobs and toped doggy style, all with a muggle condom. But it's not what we want, I want to be able to do it without thinking, give him a quicky at work or pounding into him, leave bruises on his hips and hickeys on his neck. It’s not like we haven't tried taking it slow, keeping the emotions at bay, ensuring I we don’t get too worked up, this never works though. Always ending with ice and a letter to St. Mungos. 

I want to be able to do these things, be a normal boyfriend to the man I love with the entirety of my being. Not have to worry about burning his flesh or hiding from the family, I want to show the world that Teddy Remus Lupin is mine, that no one else can have him. When someone asks where I was last night I want to say “with my boyfriend’ and have them know that I was with Teddy. 

A thought comes to me then. A way to show people that Teddy is mine, without breaking rules or burning him. It should work. 

I begin to strip and ready myself for bed my mind working out the details of my plan. There is a risk in doing it, he may not like it but I think he will. 

I smile as I shut the curtains and make a mental to-do list for tomorrow under my eyelids. Thoughts of Teddy lulling me to sleep.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

“I was right.”   
“What?” Teddy asked me, still with a slight pink flush from what had just happened. I could see the skin of his neck and collarbone begging to darkin.   
“I said that if I told the boy I liked him, it would be complicated, messy and hard but he would be worth it. Now I know I was right.” A bashful smile worked his way to his lips as I finished speaking.  
“So here comes the complicated part.”  
Shit.  
“Jamie I like you, a lot, for a little while now, too. I just didn’t want to tell you for the same reasons. We grew up close, but I don't think either of us would have described our relationship as “brotherly”. I shake me head.

“But, I worry that the family may see it that way, that I am you ‘brother’ even if we aren't related. Then the next thing will be the age difference. I’m seven years older than you James.”  
“I know that but what about your parents, their age gap was larger than that.” I speak in a sum-what pleading tone, even if I'm not sure what I am pleading for.  
“You’re right, but” I deflate slightly at that, Teddy is avoiding my eyes.  
“I think we just need to take a step back, this isn’t a no by any means, I really, really want to say yes to this, to us.” He grabs my hand,   
“But I just want to make sure we are both ready for this, because truthfully I don't know if I am. This is going to be huge and I want to make sure this will be worth it. Do you understand what I mean?”   
“Yea I get it, and I dont blame you, if it dosent work out it may fuck up the family dynamic and, Merlin then there’s telling my parnets, thats all in the logical part of my brain, the bit that isnt currently super turned on” I kiss him quickly, 

“Yes it makes sense to wait and think about and talk about us.” I pause for a moment, thinking.   
“How about until after I’m done school we come back and see if we feel up to tackling all that is going to be thrown our way?” After a moment he kisses me again, longer but nothing too explicit.

“Yes I think that’s what needs to happen.” We stayed there looking at each other until a thought came across my head.

“What about us seeing other people?”


	5. Though the World Will Try: Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW, I'm so sorry this hasn't been updated for awhile! With the holidays and exam season I didn't have much time to write but never the less we will return to our regularly scheduled programming.

When I wake up the next morning its to sunlight streaming in through the crack of my curtains. I can smell breakfast cooking downstairs and my stomach churns at the smell of it. I wonder if it would be possible to sneak over to Teddy’s for breakfast without anyone noticing I'm gone. Teddy. The thoughts and plans from last night come flooding back to me. A grin slides on to my face as I get out of bed, my thoughts spinning into a plot. Today's Monday so that means Teddy will be at work, and I have training at noon. I need to get going if my plan is going to work. I’m still not sure how I want to do it but I know I’ll figure it out. I've never been one to have rigid plans and tight schedule, if something doesn't appeal to me the way it did before I wont do it. But this, this is going to be special and it’s something I do need to plan. 

I throw on a pair of trackies, a shirt and leave my room. Only to be face to face with my younger brother Albus.  
“Morning” I say to him quickly,  
“Where you off to then?” he asks accusatory,  
“Going for a run,” I say as I begin to start walking down the stairs.  
“Don’t you have training today?”  
“Yea but I fancied a run” a say over my shoulder as I keep moving down the stairs. I land in the kitchen to Dad leaning over the stove cooking bacon and eggs.   
“Where you off to?”  
“A run” I say just before slipping out the door. I begin at a slow pace, warming up my muscles and allowing my thoughts to stray to Teddy and the gift I want to get for him.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

By the time I finish my second loop it's been slightly more than an hour and I have a complete plan. I walk back into the house and shower. After over an hour of thinking about nothing but Teddy I’m half hard. The room temperature water hits my skin as I step into the shower. My hand is already closed around my prick and my mind is racing with fantasies of my boyfriend. Thinking of the afternoon before, him pinning me against the wall, restraining my wrists and kissing me with such possession I nearly forgot which way was up. I move my hand lazily up and down my cock. I want to draw it out, I want it to be good. I want it to be Teddy. Teddy in the shower jerking me off or on his knees sucking the length of my pick. My cock is now completely hard and leaking pre come. My hand speeds up and I think about what may have happened if I were normal. If that kiss had not ended with my burning Teddy but rather us taking it further. I’m close, so fucking close. My hand speeds up as I nearly fall over the edge. I stop, hold myself right on the edge but decide I don't care about edging myself right now and pull a last few strokes until I’m coming all over the shower wall. I’m panting and trying to remain upright. After a few minutes I feel lucid enough to start cleaning myself up.

By the time I'm packing my practice bag I hear a knock on my door. “Yeah?”  
“It’s me. Can we talk?” my brother responds, pushing the door open.   
“What's up?” I look up from my bag to see Albus standing in the doorway. 

Albus is two years younger than me, going into his sixth year at Hogwarts. Mine and Albus’ relationship hasn't always been close, Nothing like mine and Teddy’s, I think of Albus as my brother. I love him and try to protect him every chance I get. But this hasn't always been the case, for a few years I had bullied him. Making fun of him and his friends for a whole slew of reasons, Mostly because he’s a Slytherin. But in the last two years I put in a valiant effort to start rebuilding our relationship. And it seems to be working. We talk nearly daily and he will often come to me with his worries and problems. He came out to me a month ago. I had woken up to use the toilet, only to walk past his room and hear quiet sniffling. I pushed the door open to find him on his bed with tears streaming down his face. I walked into his room, ignoring his startled look and hugged him. He cried into me for the next thirty minutes before I got him calmed down enough to tell me what was going on. We sat and talked until the sun came up that morning. I spent the rest of the day with him, showing him through London, taking him to meet some of my friends. By the end of the day we sat in Teddy's apartment eating take-out and working in queer innuendos to the conversation every chance we got.

“I need to talk to you about your secret boyfriend.”  
Why does everyone seem to know this? “What gives you the idea I have a ‘secret boyfriend?’” I answer trying to hide my worry under a layer of sass.  
“Oh, don't pull that shit with me, it’s obvious. Staying out late, leaving early, not coming home nearly ever. You're constantly in a good mood, not panicky like you used to be, something is obviously going on.” He crosses his arms as he finishes his ramble “So spit it out, who is it?”  
I spend a minuet deciding how I want to play this.  
“It’s no one, okay?”  
“Ha! So there is a boyfriend.” I bite my lip, angry I fell into his trap.  
“Oh come on just tell me, he can’t be that bad,” Albus says exasperatedly, moving across the room to my bed.  
“You don't know him,” I say, trying my luck with a lie.  
“Bullshit, if I didn't know him you wouldn't be so anxious.” Fuck, why won’t everyone just leave me alone about this. I get up, move to the door, peer outside and close it. Casting a silencing and a locking spell on it.  
“Fine but you can’t tell anyone. I mean this Albus.” My voice is a harsh whisper. He jumps at the ferocity of it. “Please, this has to stay between us.” I’m now plead with him. He nods mutely.  
“I promise, now tell me who it is.”  
I take a deep breath, I told Teddy I wouldn't tell anyone but this is Albus, I can’t not keep this from him. He figured it out, he knew I was dating someone and this will give me someone to help me with this. He can help me cover when I’m gone overnight. Maybe even pull some books from the Hogwarts library to help research the curse…  
“Teddy.” I say shortly. He stares at me blankly.  
“What?”   
“I’m dating Teddy.” I whisper hurriedly. I watch as this sinks in. The wheels in his head turning as he makes sense of things.  
“Your going out with… Teddy?” he asks questioningly.  
“Yea and you can’t tell anyone.” I hiss under my breath.  
“Holy shit, I get why you didn’t want to tell us! Holy Merlin, you and Teddy are going out? How long have you two been dating? That’s why you always stick to him during game night or family dinner.” He says all of this very quickly.   
“Yes that is why I'm always next to him and we've been going out since Christmas. Now keep your voice down.” I whisper back slowly trying to calm him down.  
“Christmas of last year? But wasn’t that when you guys were trying to figure out all the burning stuff. Holy shit how the hell does that work if you burn him every time you touch him?” His eyes are wide in shock or horror, I’m not sure.  
“Shh please you need to be quiet” I plead with him again. I wouldn’t put it past Mum to be trying to listen in through the silencing charm. “We’re working on the burning bit right now. We have an appointment at St. Mungos this week for the newest batch of potion to solve it, but for right now we just have to try and keep our hands off of each other. As long as our emotions aren't running high things are okay.” I try to explain this to him in a calm and level voice.   
“So, you guys, haven’t… you know?” he asks carefully. I let out a sigh,  
“We have, but we have to be really careful and it's not.. you know... as good as it could be." 

I give Albus a moment to let everything sink in. His eyes are still wide and he seems to be in shock. I check the time.  
“Look Alb, I need to get going, but please promise me your not going to tell anyone. You are the only person who knows about this and for the time being that's how we want it to stay, okay?” He nods and I hug him. I throw the last few things into my bag and stop as I’m about to leave “Just to be clear, you don’t think I’m dating my brother right?” his face morphes into one of disgust   
“Ew no what the fuck James!” I smile as I walk out the door. I check the time again as I make my way downstairs, it's only 9:15. I have nearly three hours to put my plan into action.


	6. Oh I'm Afraid of the Things in My Brain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I felt really bad about taking so long to post again so you're getting two chapters in one day, I hope this makes up for my absence :) Also this is a longer chapter for you guys. Okay I'll stop talking, go read.

“Seeing other people?” Teddy speaks in confusion, pulling slightly further away.  
“Well ya, if we're not going out, can we still, you know see other people?” I say timidly, rubbing the back of my neck. Teddy takes a minute to process what I said.  
“Jamie, I don’t think I’ll want to go out with anyone other than you right now.” My stomach does a flip. “Hey, look at me.” He puts a hand under my chin and tilts it to look at him. “I don’t want to see other people. You are it for me Jamie and for the near future. Don’t worry, okay. I can tell when you put up that mask of yours so you can worry. I want to be with you Jamie, all the time. Don’t forget that. Send me owls at two a.m. if you forget that” I laugh softly.  
“But Jamie, the only reason I want us to wait is because you are still at school and it will be hard to see you, plus how our family may see it.” I sit there mulling that over in my head. What will they think of this? Will they think I’m into my ‘brother’? Mum and Dad raised him as family but in the way a family would take in a friend in need. He was never my brother, not that we didn’t love him as much, maybe even more. But what if they don't see it as that, and then there's our age gap, and then there’s the thing with. I can’t finish the thought because his lips are suddenly on mine. He kisses me feather light.  
“Don’t. Worry.” He mumbles against my lips. At this I kiss him again, softly but still there. We end up kissing for a few more minutes until we both stop and look at each other.  
“It's gunna be a long year” I say into the space between our faces. He smiles, kisses me on the nose before he stands and pulls me to my feet. We walk to the house, his arm around my waist. A few feet in front of the door he pulls his arm back, cups my face and kisses me one last time.  
“Don’t worry, it's going to be alright.”

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

“So, let me get this straight, about a month ago a potion was thrown on you, you went to the infirmary and everything seemed fine. The kid who threw it isn’t a fan of Dad, so we assumed it was a wicked prank.” Teddy spoke as he paced the room.  
“Yes” I chirp from the couch, hunched over watching him walk.  
“But when it was thrown on you, you didn’t just feel the hot potion but a…”  
“Dry heart” I jump in  
“And so we think this dry heat you felt when the potion hit your skin is what is causing the reaction with me.” He stops pacing and looks at me, running his fingers through his currently red hair. “Because I’m a medimorfmagi.  
“Sums it up” I say glumly.  
“What were you meant to be brewing in that lesson?”  
“A strengthening solution, but I really doubt that's what he threw at me.” Teddy chuckles darkly. “Ya.”  
Teddy had only just picked me up from the train for the winter holls’, then as I hugged him I burnt his neck. He brought us straight back to his place where we have been sitting for the past hour and a half figuring out what the hell is going on. But this can’t be happening now, Teddy and I were going to revisit the conversation we had over the summer after school ended. And I couldn't see that chat ending badly. We were going to start going out, the boy I have had a crush on for nearly three years was going to start dating me. But this. The fact that I could no longer touch him without inflicting some kind of pain on him. He probably doesn't even want to be near me, let alone touching or kissing me. Does the heat go through clothes as well? Is this forever or can we cure it? Can other people feel it? Can I just stop it? Will it begin to fade over time? All of these questions swim around my head, making me dizzy.

I don’t want to lose Teddy, I don’t think I can. The thought of not having him around me like he has been for the past few months seems impossible. We’ve gotten to know each other so well, we know what either one is doing on any day. He knows my class schedule inside out, I know what hours he works on any given day or if he has a day off. It feels like it’s been like this all along, knowing each other inside and out. He hasn’t missed a Hogsmeade visit and he doesn't plan to, but what about now. He’ll hate me. He is putting on a brave smile, trying to figure this out but he doesn’t want to. I know he has a hectic schedule, taking the Hogsmeade weekends out of if will take some of the weight off of him. I realize I’m now holding back tears. I need to break this off. I can’t put him through this. 

I begin to stand. I take a moment longer than strictly necessary, trying to hold on to this for as long as I can. He looks up at me when I get to my feet.

“I should get going.” I say trying to will my voice to not crack.  
“What!” He practically shouts, “what are you talking about?” He’s taken a step closer to me.  
“I just thought…” I can't bring myself to look at him.  
“Jamie,” his voice softer, “look at me.” I don’t think I can make myself do it. I feel his hand reach out to my chin and I take a step back  
“Don’t.” I can feel the tears begin to stream steadily down my face. He takes a step closer to me. “Don’t! Teddy” My voice is now harsh, cracking as I say his name. “I don’t… I can’t let you... you can’t... please.” I can’t talk. My tears are falling thick and fast.  
“Jamie” I can hear the hurt in his voice clogging his throat. “Jamie, please.” My knees nearly buckle at his plea.  
“I should go.” I start walking quickly to the door. I feel his hand grasp my wrist. I spin around to look at him in shock. Tears are rolling down his face, his face blotchy but his eyes. His eyes are not there usual pale blue, but emerald green. A green that could rival my fathers. I've never seen them like this. I stare into them for a moment until I try to shake his hand off.  
“No Teddy! I won't put you through this! I know you don’t want to deal with this, you don't need to pretend. Okay?”  
“No not ‘okay’ Jamie. I don’t care what you think, why don’t you talk to me about this, well sort it out.” He sighs “It’ll be okay Jamie, I promise. We just have to put the work in but it’ll be okay.” He smiles sadly through his tears. “We’ll figure it out, we still have the next six months to fix it, I’ll send a letter to Mungos and start getting healers. Even if it takes longer than that to figure out, I’m not going anywhere Jamie. I promised you that then and I don’t plan on breaking it.” He wipes his face on his sleeve. “We’ll figure it out, alright.” I nod mutely trying to wipe my face with my shaking hand. 

He starts to walk backwards towards the couch and I follow him. He sits and pulls me down.  
“So what do we know? It doesn't seem to affect me if there’s some sort of barrier in place.” He speaks softly.  
“How do you know?” my voice is still thick, I wipe away the last of my tears still rolling down my face.  
“Well, on the station you hugged me with your entire body but only the bit of neck your hands were on burnt.” He says simply.  
“Is it any sort of barrier or did the clothes just slow the heat down? So you just didn’t feel it?” I ask him.  
“Let's find out.” Teddy words accompanied with a shrug.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

I’m not sure where to start with this sort of thing, it’s not the sort of thing I normally go shopping for. I apparate into London on to a muggle high street, looking in every jewelry store I find. I peer into their nearly invisible displays looking for something. I hadn’t thought entirely about what I wanted to get him, just something he could wear without people noticing, something he could wear everyday and remind him of me. I didn’t know if that is a ring or a necklace. I thought that once I had gone into one of the shops I would see it and know. 

Well if that moment was coming it is going to happen in a muggle high street jewelry shop. After an hour of searching I knew I wasn’t going to find anything for Teddy. Growing frustrated and jittery I decide to change course and head to Diagon Alley. 

I know I need to check everywhere, going into nearly every shop on the wizarding street takes far longer than I expected it to. Coming out of Quality Quidditch Supplies ready to scream I see Rose across the crowded street waving at me. I make my way over to her.  
“James! Don’t you have quidditch today?” She questions me.  
“Ya at noon, I just needed to do some shopping.” I say as casually as possible. Rose is the noisiest person I have ever met. She is as smart as her mother and cunning like her father. The two put together is a deadly combination. The fact Teddy and I have been able to hide our relationship from her for so long is nothing short of a miracle.  
“What do you need from Diagon Alley?” She asks trying to sound innocent.  
“I needed a new book.” I answer shortly, knowing this won't suffice.  
“So why were you in Quality Quidditch Supplies?” She gins as she asks.  
“I’m a quidditch player Rose,” I say trying to look exasperated, “I go into Quality Quidditch Supplies every time I’m here just to look around. Why are you in Diagon Alley on a Monday morning?” I try changing the subject.  
“Dad needed me to come into the shop early this morning to help set up a new product while Uncle George is away.” She says simply. “Don’t try and change the subject James, what book are you looking for?” 

Rose is Albus’ age, so I was never quite as close to her as my brother is. Aunt Hermoinie had me tutor her for two weeks in the summer between my third and fourth year but Rose made it quite clear she didn’t want or need them so they stopped rather quickly. We are closer than we ever have been before as a side result to my stronger relationship with Albus. Before that, she was and is still on the Gryffindor quidditch team at school, so most of the time I would spend with her would be at practice. Now though, we talk at family dinners or whenever she’s ‘round the family house, talking about quidditch or play during the summer.

“Rose why does it matter what book I’m buying?” I’m beginning to lose my patience.  
“Because I don’t think you came to Diagon Alley at a quarter past eleven on a Monday morning to buy a book.”  
“Fine, so I’m not buying a book, happy now?” I'm getting anxious, is it really nearly eleven thirty?  
“Not entirely, what do you need to buy James?” She has a smug look on her face, happy that she broke through one of my walls. I decide to stick a little closer to the truth.  
“A present.”  
“For whom?”  
“Not for you and I’m not going to tell you because knowing you you’re going to tell them.” I say shortly.  
“Mmmhm” she smirks  
“Look Rose, I need to go I have practice soon, can’t you just let this go for once?” I’m holding on to the few strands of sanity I have left.  
“What do you mean by that?” I can’t tell if the hurt on her face is genuine or if she’s acting again.  
“Goodbye Rose.” I begin to walk away, ignoring her calls. I have half an hour left to find anything for Teddy. I try to relax and calm myself, there isn’t a deadline for this, no one knows what I’m doing. I can take my time, this doesn’t need to be done today.

Even with all of my rational thoughts I can’t lighten the weight in the pit of my stomach. I need to relax. I stop and take a few deep breaths. I need to relax. Suddenly everyone seems to close to me. Relax. I need to get out of the street, I walk into the nearest shop. Once I’m in, I try and slow my breathing. I look around to see where I am.

“Welcome to Madam Malcolms! How can I help you dear?” A short woman in forest green robes addresses me.  
“Oh, umm,” I’m still trying to get my head on straight. “I’m just looking thanks.” She smiles a practiced smile and walks into the back of the shop, disappearing behind a red curtain with a ‘STAFF ONLY’ sign in front of it. I look around and find a small bench flush against the wall. I sit for a second before realising how strange I must look sitting on a bench with nothing to try on. I look up, not sure what I’m looking for. Seems to be the theme of the day, I snort at my own thought as I stand. Moving to the men's section, staying in my thoughts as I wander through the clothes, letting my hand drag on the dress robes allowing the feeling to ground me. As I turn a corner in the magically elongated shop I look at the sign above me. 

Men’s Intimates 

Cringing at the phrasing, looking down the shelves at the array of styles and colours of the pants. I could get Teddy pants, I think as a rub the material of a pair of navy blue boxer briefs between my fingers. My eyes move down my hand to my watch. I have twelve minutes until I need to be at practice. That's not enough time. I’ll come back later and think about it

**Author's Note:**

> Cool, what did you guys think? leave a comment and kudos are greatly appreciated. New chapters will come out relatively frequently so keep an eye on it :) thanks again for reading


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